After the End
by ayrangel1221
Summary: What do you do after the end? Where do you go when everything you worked for is lost? After it's all said and done, is the end all there is?
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Helloooo everybody! I'll cut right to the chase here. As some of you know, I've already posted this chapter. Due to the keen insight of an amazing reader, DrummerDancer (thank you!), I realized I had gone about this idea all wrong. Armed with a new (and better) idea and a greater purpose and plan, here you go: my first Fanfiction for Fullmetal Alchemist (2003 anime). This is my low violence, no swearing, and clean relationship version of what should have happened at and after the ended of the series. Hope you enjoy, and for all those who read the first version and liked it, it may make a reappearance after this one…**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or associated names, places, etc. I'm just a fan spouting nonsense and putting people through the pain of reading it.**_

**Chapter One**

"Remind me again why Colonel," Winry cleared her throat loudly and Edward corrected himself with annoyed emphasis. "_Brigadier General_ Mustang has to come?" The blond mechanic rolled her eyes, glad that Ed couldn't see her. Even without his sight, Ed could annoy (and worry) her faster than anyone else. The fact that Alphonse couldn't speak didn't help either; it had always been Al's gentle reprimands that stopped Ed when he went too far. But now… Shaking her head she answered the question in a tone that suggested her much-tried patience.

"He needs a report on your last mission, and besides, he wants to check up on you two." At his place by Ed's side, Al smiled softly, squeezing Ed's hand, although whether it was in excitement or as a gentle chastisement to his brother they couldn't tell. Despite his anger, Ed's face softened at the reminder of his younger brother's presence. A scowl followed on its heels as Ed replied.

"Yeah, right. Like _General _Idiot actually cares about us. If he cares so freaking much, why hasn't he called us in the month since we arrived?" Winry sighed explosively; they'd been over this several times as well.

"He's been recuperating; being shot in the eye and stabbed repeatedly is no walk in the park, you of all people should know." She cut in as Ed drew breath to retort. "And before you even go there, yes, he's bringing Ms. Riza and Lieutenant Havoc along. He'll be taking Al's testimony along with yours and will stay for a few days. Now, can I get back to work or do you have any more stupid questions?"

Ed's silent scowl and Al's smiling nod sent her stomping back to her workshop, frustration and gratitude overcoming her in equal parts and turning her face red. For, in spite of her annoyance at the childish conduct of her childhood friend, she was just glad he was here to argue at all. A shiver of fear coursed down her spine as she sat at her workbench as an image of her life without the two boys flashed across her mind's eye. A life like that was barely worth living for. She shivered again. Work would erase the image, so she set to work on a small metal hand, magnifier clasped in one hand, tweezers in the other and her tongue stuck between her lips in concentration.

Two days later, at the sound of a familiar knock, Alphonse gently tapped his brother's wrist to tell him he'd be back and answered the door. A single black eye met the small pair of brown ones and both of their owners smiled.

"Hello Alphonse." A deep voice said. "How are you?" Al grinned, gave him a thumbs up and beckoned for the three, blue clothed figures to enter. They did and cordial hellos were exchanged with the Rockbells. Ed sat silently on the couch, his face an impassive mask, empty eye sockets covered by a strip of material, and head leaned back against the couch. Except for his concerned brother, who retook his constant place besides Ed, no one seemed to notice or remember the blond teen.

Finally though, the keen eyes of the Hawk spied the person they had come most to see. Nudging her black-haired superior, she stepped to the couch, her boots clacking on the hardwood floor. At the sound, Ed's hand tightened on the pillow in his lap. Riza noticed, with a bit of shock, that Ed's right hand was flesh again. Bending over, she tapped the pale skin of the new limb gently.

"Hey Edward. How are you?" He flinched away, scowling. When he spoke, his teeth were clenched.

"Fine. Now take my report and get the heck out of here! And take your precious general with you!" Riza only smiled. He was just fine. Before she could reply, the blond soldier still by the door interrupted.

"Yo, chief! The boys all send their hellos. I'll tell them you're doing just fine and they should stop worrying like old ladies. I told them you'd be ok, but did they listen to me? No!" Ed half-smiled at the voice of Jean Havoc and at the mention of the rest of Mustang's team. Despite his apparent hatred of their leader, he and "the boys" got along just fine.

"And what gave them the idea I wouldn't be? When have I not bounced back? They really are a bunch of worried old women if their worrying about Edward Elric!" He smirked haughtily. Havoc winked at the younger brother, and Al saluted and grinned in reply.

Then Roy stepped forward and all the light-hearted banter in the room ceased. All watching eye traveled from the Flame Alchemist to his subordinate and back. The tension in the air became so thick, everyone struggled to breathe.

"Hello Fullmetal." He was using his cold, calculated business voice and Ed didn't miss the tone. Putting on his impassive mask again, he answered just as frostily.

"General." Sarcasm dripped from each syllable. Roy seemed to want to say something more and drew breath to speak it. At the last moment though, the non-expression on the bond alchemist's face made him snap his mouth closed and set his jaw. After several more tension-charged moments, Winry broke the uncomfortable silence.

"Well, let me show you to your rooms. Mr. Mustang, Mr. Havoc, you two get the guest room. Ms. Riza will stay in Granny's room…" Roy and Riza interrupted at the same time, stopped in surprise and blushed slightly as they looked at each other. Roy tilted his head slightly and Riza spoke.

"We can't take your room Mrs. Rockbell! And where will the boys sleep?" Havoc and Mustang nodded in agreement. Pinako put up her hand to silence them, chewing her pipe with a no-nonsense look on her face.

"I'll stay in Winry's room and the boy's have been staying together in the recovery room anyway. It's no trouble at all. Besides, your coming and my moving in with Winry means she actually cleaned her room, so I should be thanking you." Everyone laughed softly, except for Ed (who got away with a small smirk), Al (who couldn't speak), and Winry (who blushed furiously). To cover her embarrassment, she hefted one of the men's suitcases and started down the hall. Pinako lifted Riza's and started carrying it upstairs. In a moment's time, the room went quiet and the boy's were left alone.

Al scooted closer to his brother, slipping his small hand into the slightly larger one. Slowly, he spelled out a message on the back of his hand.

_What's wrong brother? _Ed shook his head, but Al's patience soon won out and a reply drew itself out of the blind teen's reluctant mouth.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to face them again, or at least, not for a long time. I'm not ready for this. What if they're disappointed in me? What if they ask me a question I can't answer?" As Al listened, he silently substituted 'him' for 'them'. He knew his brother wasn't worried about Riza or Havoc. But Roy? Well, let's just say that despite his overly shown anger and hatred of the black-haired man, he looked up to him much more than he had looked up to his own father.

Al waited for more to come, but Ed remained silent, lost deep in thought. The mute boy didn't press him, instead pulling up his feet and leaning against his brother's shoulder. They were still weak and thin from their ordeal in the Gate and soon, they were asleep.

When Winry returned, Ed was snoring with his head against the back of the couch, one arm laid protectively over his brother and the other settled on the arm of the couch. Al was slumbering peacefully with his head on Ed's lap and his knees curled against his chest. Shooing everyone outside to chat, she left them to rest in peace.

While the others settled at the small table, the mechanic descended the steps to stand beneath the tree, hair blowing gently in the wind. Where her fear for her childhood friends had been burbling uncomfortably in her stomach, a relaxation and hope calmed the ache. A small smile played across her lips. _They've got each other and they've got me and Granny. _She thought with a gentle laugh. _They'll be fine. They always are._

_**A/N: Well? Better? Worse? Do you hate it? Am I bad on writing these guys? Let me know please and I'll try to get another one up tomorrow or next week. Sorry I had to totally start this over. Please review and join me next time! Love you all, have a great week and stay safe!**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Well, I've been absolutely blown away by the response to the chapter I only put up yesterday! So much praise and constructive criticism, I literally almost started crying when I saw it all. 34 views, 3 reviews, 3 followers… what am I supposed to do with all you lovely readers? Just do my best to entertain you I guess. I do try! Here's your second chapter. And don't worry. Your WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO ED AND AL!? questions will be answered… next chapter. This one is dedicated to my favorite pairing of all. Enjoy!**_

**Chapter Two**

Dinner was mostly quiet and all members of the house were asleep quickly after going to bed. Except one. Roy lay awake in his bed, staring at the ceiling and following his thoughts around in circles. He thought about Ed mostly, and Al. He shouldn't have been so cold and harsh. They might have worried him sick and disobeyed every order he had given him, but that was no reason to continue the cycle of anger and hatred. It was no wonder Ed hated him; he hated himself. Why was it so darn hard to show when he cared about someone?

And then there was Riza. When had things gotten so freaking complicated with her? One day she was his back-up, his conscience, his right hand. The next, she had stolen his heart and made it impossible to be apart from her. Even sleeping in this bed with her upstairs made his heart ache. In the few weeks when she had slept in a cot by his hospital bed, he had gotten used to the soft sound of her breathing and the scritch-scratching of her pen as she finished her paperwork and the sweet tones of her voice as she hummed when she thought he was asleep. Havoc's snoring didn't help at all either.

Roy frowned in the darkness, rolling onto his side. He was her superior; he couldn't become involved in a relationship with her. But no matter how many times he told his heart to stop jumping at the sound of her voice, it still did it without his permission. The stupid thing was no better at listening to him than the Elric brothers were.

The brothers. What in the world had happened to them? The last time he'd seen them, a month and a half or so ago, Ed had automail, eyes and was strong and healthy. Al had been an empty suit of armor with nothing of his past life but his brother, memories and voice. Now they were both fully human, emaciated (despite the Rockbell's attempts to put meat back on their bones), and one was sightless while the other was mute. At least he wouldn't have to wait long to find out that story.

What were they going to do now? Now they had what they had worked for so long to get, did they have any plans for the future? They couldn't work for the military anymore. Ed would be dismissed with honors for his part in overthrowing the conspiracy, he would see to that. But the brothers would not be content to sit at the Rockbell's house for long. They were too used to a life of action and travel to just give it up and lounge around for the rest of their lives. Besides, that much potential shouldn't go to waste for something as trivial as a physical disability. It had never stopped them before, and he was sure it wouldn't stop them for long now. Maybe they'd go and learn a trade or just travel around until they found a reason to settle down. Either way, he would not be seeing them often after this final report.

Strangely enough, this made upset him more than he would ever have thought. As much as the boys worried and bothered and made his life difficult, he was fond of them. So was the rest of his team. It was almost as if they had all taken it upon them selves to be the boys' big brothers, with Riza as the mother holding all the rambunctious children to their work. He smiled at the image. _What does that make me? _He wondered. _The grouchy, lazy old uncle I guess. _He toyed with the idea of being 'the father' but dismissed it. He wasn't the fatherly type.

_But why can't I be? _His mind rebelliously answered. For a moment, he pictured it.

_A warm hearth with winter winds blowing outside. Riza, dressed in a pretty silver sweater and black pants holds his hand and rubs her rounded stomach as they sit in the two armchairs. Ed and Al tell stories and bicker lightheartedly in front of the dancing flames. A few pictures adorn the mantle: Hughes with Elicia in his arms and Gracia smiling in the background; Trisha hugging two small boys in her arms; an old man with Riza's eyes sitting in a chair with Riza smiling behind him. Also in a place of honor, two framed sheets of paper that show to the whole world that he is the proud father of the two boys, despite them being born of different parents. Behind them, Havoc, Breda, Fuery, and Falman chat and laugh over steaming cups of cocoa and by the window, Gracia and Elicia giggle about the doodles the girl scribbles on the paper. Suddenly, the four-year-old stands and races over to the fire. Tugging on Ed's sleeve, she got his attention._

"_Brother Ed, is Santa coming tonight? Is he really going to sneak into my house and fill my stocking with candy?" Everyone in the room smiled at the innocent question. _

"_Of course Elicia. When you wake up in the morning, there'll be all sorts of little goodies just for you." The little girl frowned._

"_What about you? Doesn't Santa bring things for you and brother Al too? And Uncle Roy and Aunt Riza and Uncle Jean and…" She ran out of breath, but Ed's laugh cut her off._

"_We get things too. Don't worry." The moment stretched as Elicia grinned, clapping her hands in delight._

"_Yay! Candy for everyone!" Laughter filled the space, warming everyone._

He yanked himself out of the comfortable dream. He wouldn't let himself go any further. It would never happen. Standing quietly, he went to the kitchen for a glass of water. Running the tap, he rummaged through the cupboards for a glass. Filling it, he drank slowly. The cold liquid refreshed him and calmed his mind.

"Sir? Can't sleep." His pulse began to race. Stretching nonchalantly, he put the glass down and turned slowly.

"I'm fine Hawkeye. Just thirsty is all."

"You were thinking about the boys weren't you?" Her abrupt, knowing words threw him off guard. He should have known she would see right through him. Luckily, she had only seen part of the thoughts keeping him awake.

"Well, that is why we all took time off work right? We were all worried, and besides, after everything that's been going on since that battle… well, we needed a break."

"You're changing the subject sir. Anything you want to talk about?" He looked her in the eye, feeling his heart beat faster as he studied her face. She really was too beautiful.

"No Lieutenant. I'm fine. Besides, you need your sleep. I have a feeling that getting a report out of that boy is going to almost be more stress than it's worth." He walked to the door, she stepped respectfully back to allow him to pass. As he brushed by her, walking past without looking at her face. He couldn't look. If he did, he'd have to kiss her. If he kissed her… He couldn't threaten their friendship for the sake of his stupid, disobedient heart. So, he would stay distant. He had to.

Upstairs, Riza lay in bed, turning over every few minutes. She couldn't get the look in Roy's eye when he had looked at her face out of her mind. His dark-as-night eye had conveyed such tender care that she had been taken aback. Her heart had fluttered lightly at it, giving her low-burning candle of hope a new life. She had wished for so long for one man to look at her that way, but now that he had, she wished he hadn't. The hope made her heart ache. And the way he had brushed past without even glancing at her had caused it to throb dully. Did he really care so little? If he didn't even take a moment to say good night and couldn't even stand to look at her, why had he studied her with such love in his eye? Had she been deceived?

Of course, it was all irrelevant. Whether he cared for her or not, she was his subordinate and he had dated every girl he had ever met without ever glancing at her or so much as telling her she was pretty. Until tonight. Confusion reigned in her mind. Her subconscious resolved itself while her conscious mind kept turning the issue over and over. She had waited this long for him and she would wait forever if she had to, for her heart would have no other.

Neither broken heart allowed its owner sleep that night. But the next morning, both resignedly went about their business as nothing had happened, as if nothing could happen. They were soldiers, and soldiers take care of their duties before themselves. So both toiled, showing anything on their faces, hearts weeping within them.

_**A/N: I don't really have anything to say. Review, enjoy, share, be safe, love you all!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hi everybody! I know, it's been like three weeks and you're ready to kill me, but give the author a little slack will ya? How's everyone's weeks going? Sorry I don't have a steady updating schedule, but school is a… word I'm not going to say… sometimes. Sorry for the rocky start to this chapter but I suck at introducing my chapters. Let me know what you think of this one… Love you all and enjoy!**_

**Chapter Three**

As the first rays of dawn stretched over the green fields of Resembool, Roy gave up on sleeping. Rolling out of bed and pulling on his the red shirt and black slacks he used when he was off duty but still wanted to look respectable, he ran his fingers through his rumpled hair. Leaving his feet bare, he decided to allow Havoc to keep snoring on the other mattress. Passing the bathroom on his way to the kitchen, he saw a hint of gold on black as Riza went in to shower. His heart clenched in his chest, but his face remained in his why-am-I-up-so-freaking-early expression.

In the kitchen, Pinako and Winry were already hard at work in the kitchen, frying bacon, sausage and ham, scrambling eggs, buttering toast. A bowl of diced potatoes sat on the counter, well seasoned. Pinako deftly dropped six rounds of batter onto a griddle and returned to her toast buttering duties in a matter of seconds. Smiling softly, Roy picked up the spatula from the counter and stood by the griddle. When the old mechanic turned around to flip the pancakes, she looked him up and down a moment, then raised her eyebrow.

"Are you sure you can handle it?" she seemed skeptical, and a little scary despite being a quarter of his height. He laughed lightly and smiled cockily.

"Please! I've fought in wars, dealt with criminals, Edward Elric and Riza when I haven't done my paperwork. I think I can handle a griddle of pancakes." Her eyebrow rose a little higher and she shrugged.

"Well, perhaps you should flip them before they get any blacker, _General._" She nodded in the direction of the smoking griddle and he whirled around to see a six pieces of black charcoal with a small puddle of white, raw batter in the center of each. A muffled giggle sounded and Roy glanced up to see Winry focused on her pan and her shoulders shaking. Blushing slightly, the celebrated general flipped the failures into a stack and slid them into the trash can. Sloppily dribbling six new ovalish shapes onto the hot surface, he became determined to make each one perfect this time.

Finally, half an hour later, a flushed and proud Roy flipped the last golden-brown pancakes onto the stack and set it on the already overflowing table. By this time, everyone had sat down at the table in various stages of wakefulness. Pinako had a place at the head, the military personnel all on her left, and the three youth on the right. Al was beaming happily at anyone and everyone around, and although Ed's face was struggling to stay blank, no one missed the twitching nose, the tongue darting out to lick the lips or the barely audible, appreciative humming coming from that side of the table. Riza sat smiling softly at the boys, a sad look in her sharp gaze and soft, dark circles under her eyes. Havoc was practically drooling on the table, both from his hunger and sleepiness. Winry bustled about, grabbing jam and milk and butter knives and generally making everyone feel lazy.

Then Pinako took her place at the head of the table and cleared her throat. Everyone sat down and quieted, sitting a little taller under her gaze. Then the feast began. Al served his brother, then himself. A silence, broken only by the clinking of silverware and quiet requests to pass various items down the table, settled over the crowded table.

Finally, everyone, even Ed and Havoc, was stuffed and soft groans of satisfaction came from each man (plus Ed) while Al just grinned and leaned back, eyes closed in bliss. Only the girls hadn't stuffed themselves to the point of sleepiness and everyone adjourned to the living room to let a little digestion happen. Dishes, they agreed, could be done later. After fifteen minutes or so of quiet chatter, the three soldiers remembered their mission and became serious. Riza finally broke the subject as a lull came in the conversation.

"Alright Ed, we better just get this over with. Except for Al, we'd appreciate if everyone left. Jean, why don't you help Winry and Mrs. Rockbell with the dishes and cleanup?" He understood the obvious dismissal, but took it with a grin and a nod. Bowing cheekily to the younger woman, he gestured to the kitchen.

"Milady, I would be honored to help you on your quest to restore the kitchen to its original order. Shall we?" Winry laughed, breezing past his proffered arm and pausing in the entrance to the kitchen.

"Coming?" Grinning good-naturedly, he followed her and Pinako brought up the rear. Roy and Riza, almost laughing at their subordinate's behavior, turned back to the boys.

"Is there anywhere we can talk without chance of being overheard?" Roy shifted his eye patch. He'd never get used to this darn thing. How in heck had Ex-Fuhrer King Bradley worn it all the time? Ed stood slowly, throwing out his arms to gain his balance, followed by Al. Leading his older brother and gesturing for the two adults to follow, the younger boy took them all to a spare, neat room with a single large bed. Judging by the ragged, worn red cloak thrown on a chair and the two small indents in the unmade bed, this was where the boys were sleeping. The brothers sat on the far side of the bed, allowing Roy to pull a small table and the two chairs up to it. Riza, always prepared, pulled a small recorder out of a pocket and a rolled sheaf of paper out of a small tube. A pen seemed to leap into her hand from another pocket and in a moment, all was ready.

"Why don't you start from what happened after you left the car?" Riza's voice was soft and firm. A small frown appeared between the blond alchemist's eyebrows. Al, seeing his brother's discomfort, squeezed his hand. Ed relaxed slightly, bit his lip, and drew a deep breath. Then, he began.

"I traveled to a church, a chapel left by an ancient religion. On the way, I met some old friends. They gave me... something. I left them, opening a secret in the altar door. I went down several staircases, lined on both sides by lit statues. They opened into an enormous cavern with a huge lake, fed by a waterfall and bridged in several places by fallen statues. Crossing, I followed a path until I came to an even larger cave. An entire city had been sunken in the ground, nearly undamaged but empty of people. They all had been used as ingredients for… a Philosopher's stone." A pair of emotions, anger and sorrow, flitted across the surface of his blind eyes. Riza's pen paused as she finished filling out what Ed had said.

"Then what?" Roy's quiet question was strained. He, too, had been angered by the callous destruction of human life, but he kept it under control with a struggle. Ed's frown deepened. He went on to tell about dancing with Rose in the enormous ballroom and confronting Dante. His face grew more passive with every word, becoming like numb stone by the time he described Gluttony's sorrow at Lust's death. Then his skin paled as her relived passing through the gate yet again. Both Roy and Riza were made speechless and still by his description of the world on the other side of the gate. Even the pen stopped skritching across the paper as, for the second time, Ed ran from zeppelins, said goodbye to his father, and left the poor boy's body behind to die while he raced back to the Amestris side of the gate. Glancing at her superior, Riza discreetly wrote, "I blacked out and remember only the gate and then waking up back in the hall." Neither brother noticed, for Ed couldn't see and Al was completely focused on his brother, lending him silent support. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Edward continued.

"When I pushed through, I was back in my own body and Al was lying in a transmutation circle on the floor. A large piece of one of his sides was missing and we could all see the Philosopher's Stone swirling within him. I fought with Envy, the shape shifter as he transformed into many people. When I finally got him pinned, he threw me off by showing me his true form. Then, he transformed his arm into a blade and stabbed me, all the way through." Al tensed beside the blond alchemist, remembering the choking and blood as his brother died before his face. His face paled and he began to shake. Ed noticed the change and gently squeezed his younger brother's hand. A small smile raised one corner of his mouth. Al took a deep breath and squeezed back. Only then did Ed continue.

"After that, the next thing I remember is waking up. My limbs were restored, but Al was gone. I prepared the most complex transmutation I've ever done. I was expecting to die and leave Al to go on. But somehow, we were both trapped, body, mind and soul, within the gate. We're told it was for two whole months. When we came out, Al was lacking vocal chords and a tongue and I had no eyes. We awoke in our old, burned out house not two miles from here. We were both dying of starvation and both bleeding pretty heavily from where we had lost body parts. Al almost suffocated in his own blood. But we made it to the Rockbell house and have been recovering here." Heavy silence greeted the end of the story. Roy sat back heavily in his chair, struggling and failing to keep from drawing a hand slowly down his face in horror and shock. Riza pressed her lips together in a thin line, finishing her writing with a shaking hand and then closing her eyes to try and calm herself. But more than just the Elric's story was bothering Mustang.

"And that's it? That's all you lost? You gained both you and your brother's minds, bodies and souls, and all you lost was two months of time, Al's voice and your eyes. You should know better than anyone that that is nowhere near equivalent exchange. Aren't you worried that something else was taken that you don't know about?" Suddenly, so quickly that he nearly lost his balance, Edward stood, leaving a startled Alphonse to try to catch up as he stalked from the room. But despite his speed, not one missed the two hot tears that he quickly, angrily dashed away as he left. With a sigh, Riza also stood, glaring at Roy as she passed.

"What?" he queried, catching her wrist and forcing her to stop in the doorway. "What did I do?" Snatching her wrist back, she reflexively opened and closed her hand, twitching toward her belt and the gun holstered there. Roy instinctively raised his hands, although he refused to release her tawny, flashing eyes from where they were locked in his own gaze. Pursing her lips in a long-suffering manner that made Roy's breath quicken, she finally replied.

"Are you serious?" Roy blinked in surprise. She'd never taken this tone with him before. Sure, she'd been angry, but not this type of quiet, shaking furious. "They lost more than just a throat, a tongue, and a pair of eyes. If it was just one or the other, they would move on without a problem. But think about it. With one blind and one mute, how will they ever communicate again? I'm beginning to wonder whether Ed's really the blind one, _sir_." And with that, she gave him a clipped salute, spun on her heel, and all but ran down the hall and out the front door.

Left behind in the boy's room, Roy's mouth opened and closed a few times before he pressed it tightly closed and walked as calmly as possible to his own room. Closing the door behind him, he threw himself down in bed, covering his face with his arms and growling low under his breath. One thought kept his mind going in circles: _Why am I such a complete and total idiot?_

_**A/N: I know, long in coming and then completely useless when it finally came. I am so sorry. Please send me lots of review so I can make it ten times better than last time. I'm also going to start trying to reply to all favoriters, followers and reviewers before putting up the next chapter. And finally, if you have any ideas, PM or review them to me and you may find them written into the next chapters… Thanks and have a spooky Halloween!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: Bonjour mon ami, et tu, et tu, et tu… You guys get the point right? Anywho, I was thinking about what I wanted to say in Al's report and then this popped into my head. So, because this is too perfect and needs to be said, I think I'll stick this in. Once again, I am not in control (Ed, Al, Riza, and Roy say hi from inside my head…). Love you all and review if you enjoy this. **_

**Chapter Four**

Ed shook with rage and suppressed sobs, clenching and unclenching his fists as he paced by the river. He didn't know how he had made it there without hurting himself, but he had and now he wished that idiot Mustang was there so he could throw him in. His swirling thoughts, and his attempts to push them away and ignore them, were rubbing his nerves raw.

A snap and rustle sounded from behind him. He froze.

"Who's there?" He growled, hands squeezing tightly into fists and rising defensively. No one answered, but the footsteps shuffled closer.

"Stay back!" Ed warned, resisting the urge to step backwards. His head swung slightly from side to side as he tried to gauge who it was. The footsteps continued to move closer. Ed cursed slightly under his breath. With the river behind him, he couldn't gauge the distance the person was away from him. The person's breathing was odd, stopping and starting irregularly as if they were speaking, but Ed's sharp ears heard no sound besides the river, the footsteps, and the breathing of both bodies. He slid his feet apart, settling into the familiar fighting position he had learned from Teacher. The steps hesitated and Ed sensed a hand coming toward him. In an instant, Ed sprang into cat-like action.

Grasping the attacker's arm tightly, Ed yanked the person toward him, jerking the arm up behind the person's back and wrapping his other arm around the neck. When his attacker still made no sound, Ed released the wrist and instead used his other arm to tighten the grip around the throat that pulsed beneath his arm.

"Who are you?" He hissed, tightening his grip yet further when no answer was forthcoming. "Answer me!" he shouted. He vaguely noticed that he was slightly enjoying, in his fury, the weakening of the body beneath him. It felt good to finally be in control again after months of such weakness and helplessness. He smirked slightly.

"Edward, stop!" A familiar commanded from some distance away. After a moment, Ed realized it was Lieutenant Hawkeye. Reluctantly, he loosened his grip slightly, although he still held the warm body. Clomping footsteps came down the slight slope to him, and a warm smell, like honey and cinnamon, washed over him.

"Let him go. He's going to suffocate." Her voice was firm, but still Ed hesitated. Finally though, he dropped the light body to the ground and stepped back, trembling and breathing heavily from the adrenaline rush. A breathless, wheezing series of coughs hit his ears and he turned on the Lieutenant. But as he turned, he felt the brush of air as Riza brushed past him and crouched beside the other person. He felt a little bit of new fury boil in him. She was comforting the enemy! Someone who had attacked him and refused to make themselves known to a blind, unknowing teen! What business did she have helping him?

"Hawkeye, who is that?" He demanded.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -Line Break to change POV's- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Hawkeye, who is that?" Ed demanded and Riza sighed softly to herself. Checking the panting boy for injuries one last time, she stood and walked back to the blond teen. Reaching out, she grabbed his wrist, forcing him to pay attention to her. He flinched away, forcing her to grab his other wrist before he swung at her.

"Calm down Ed." She soothed, voice firm but gentle. Taking a deep, shuddery breath, he let his hands drop. Releasing him, Riza prepared herself for another reaction as she answered his question.

"It's Al. He…" She trailed off. There really was nothing else to say. The instant her words fell, she realized she wouldn't have had time to say anything else. Within a blink, a look of total horror and self-loathing crossed the young man's face. He grew pale and began to shake, covering his face with his hands. He seemed unable to breathe, gasping and stumbling backwards as fast as he could. "Fullmetal." She said softly, moving forward to soothe him, but he pushed away her grasping hands and ran as fast as he could. Without direction, without purpose, tripping and stumbling and falling, but always getting back up and running away. A tortured, sobbing scream tore itself out of him, tearing Hawkeye's heart with it.

A small body raced past her and, out of habit, Riza stopped him. She needed comfort and so did the silently sobbing boy she wrapped in her arms. Crying, one inside and one publicly, they held onto each other. Picking up the warm, bony body, she carried him like a loving mother back to the Rockbell house. Arriving, she put him down and was about to go tell Roy when Winry came in. Seeing Al curled up and sobbing, an expression of concern covered her face.

"Where's Ed?" She sounded desperate, and a bit accusing. Riza pointed out the door and tried to explain, but the mechanic was already gone in a blur of blond hair. Al moved to follow her, but it was obvious he was weak and hurt so Riza held him back. But she saw the need in his eyes and made a silent deal with him. Lifting him up again and grabbing a blanket off the back of the chair and set him in a chair outside. Then, she went back inside to organize a search.

"Mrs. Rockbell. Ed's run away and we need to go find him. It's going to be dark soon and…" Pinako cut her off.

"Does Winry know?" She queried gruffly, one eyebrow raised.

"Yes, she's out looking for him now." Riza answered. The short woman nodded.

"Then no one else needs to know. She knows that boy better than you know. She'll find him. Let them be. They'll be home in time for dinner." Riza nodded.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Another POV change… sorry guys!- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ed ran and ran, ignoring the bleeding cuts and scrapes on his arms, unable to think of anything besides his latest great sin. _I hurt Alphonse. _He cursed under his breath. _I almost killed him. And I was enjoying it. _He hated himself. Every inch of his mind and body he found repulsive. Another moan escaped his mouth as he doggedly tripped and struggled his way up and down the hills. He nearly fell on his face for the hundredth time as the grassy under his bare feet suddenly gave way to a dusty, rocky road. Turning up the road, he raced onward. Suddenly, he turned, stumbling on the grass of the town cemetery. With unerring accuracy, he found his way to his mother's grave. Collapsing down before the pristine marble headstone, he sobbed into the soil, breathing in the warm earth and the fresh, sharp sent of the grass. He didn't know how long he lay there. Without light, his sense of time was restricted to when meals were eaten and when he felt tired. Finally, fully exhausted, he just lay drifting in and out of a tortured half-sleep. One thought still dug knives of pain into his mind: _I hurt Al. _

Gentle hands, accompanied by the familiar smell of metal and oil and the vanilla shampoo their owner used, touched his shoulders. He didn't even have the energy to flinch, but he knew he was safe. Until he realized that she wasn't the danger: he was. Scrambling away, he backed up against the tombstone, finding its cool hardness reassuring.

"Get away." He whispered, voice hoarse and broken from crying. "I'm not safe." A soft hand touched his cheek and he hissed as it came into contact with his skin. Grasping it gently, he pushed it away. "I can't be trusted. I…" He nearly sobbed again as the thought that had been punishing him tried to leave his mouth.

"Ed, whatever it was, it was an accident. Please, just come home with me?" He could sense the hand being held out to him. But he chose to ignore it. Anger, mostly at himself, boiled up inside him.

"I hurt Alphonse! Don't you understand? No one is safe around me. I almost KILLED my little BROTHER!" He was screaming, he knew it. He knew that she would be cringing, tears welling up in those crystalline blue eyes, and it only hurt him more to remember that even without touching her, he was hurting her. His thoughts were confirmed when her next words were softened and choked by tears.

"You didn't mean to. He's not mad. Please, just come home. Come home, please." She was really crying now. Ed heard her hair rustle as she curled in on herself. Moving forward in impulse, he felt around till he touched her knee, then pulled himself close to her and held her. The vanilla smell was strong as he buried his face in her hair. He hadn't realized just how much he needed this; this physical contact was something he had been craving without even realizing it. Every moment with his arms around her seemed to stretch into a crystallized moment he could see more clearly than he ever had seen with his eyes.

Finally her shoulders stopped shaking and he released her. He felt her stand and stood as well, grasping her hand to keep his balance.

"Take me home." He whispered. And they did.

_**A/N: That was one of my best chapters ever don't you think? Anywho let me know. Love you all! Stay safe!**_


	5. Sorry Read and forgive me

_**A/N: Hey, Angel here. Bad news… I have major league writer's block with this story. So here is my solution. You guys send me ideas for filler chapters while I try to think of how to continue. This is how it will work. You send me an idea (no matter how ridiculous) and I will write a chapter about it (please keep it clean). If it won't fit into the story, I'll make it a crazy dream one of the characters has. In the meantime, I'll be working on a different fic I have all sorts of ideas for. Go check it out! It should be on my profile in the next week or so. Although, you should probably read the first Avengers one first since the new one is a sequel. Sorry to cause you pain, but I think this is what's best for everyone. Send me those ideas and I remain, forever yours, Angel.**_


End file.
